At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
