Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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