just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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