are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
