Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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