There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
