Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
