hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
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i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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