do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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