i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
