we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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