At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if only i could text you this smell
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
