Do vagina's smell?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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