I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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