You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
