It's Friday. Sex?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
NoShamevember. You game?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize