unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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