dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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