Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
