this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
