I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
