dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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