There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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