It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
