i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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