I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
another moral hangover. fuck.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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