Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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