he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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