i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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