that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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