I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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