she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
