if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
