dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
