I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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