she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
