Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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