I think I died a long time ago.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Randomize
