I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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