Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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