so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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