If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
