so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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