I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
