sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
