i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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