grandma shit on top of the toilet
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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