defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
