thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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