Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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