just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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