girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.