Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I deserve this hangover.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..