just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.