we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
