I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
