3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
