Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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