do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
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She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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