you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize