Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
