I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Someone signed my nipple.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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