if i can run in heels then i can drive
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
