I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
