last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Still dying that you shit outside
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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